One of the things that I'm finding I miss the most is intimacy. Not sex or fucking or screwing around, but simple intimacy. I miss someone to hold me when I've had a bad day or being able to cuddle with them on a cold night or just sharing a touch as we pass in the hallway.

I'm also missing some of the kinkier aspects of my life that haven't been present in a long time and am wondering if that part is just a passing phase or if it will all come roaring back to me. *sigh* I can't even focus on trying to write about how I feel right now. I am so scattered and can't find a center point to hold fast to. I have no idea where my life is going to end up at this point and being alone is scary and getting harder instead of easier.

I constantly feel tense and jumpy and hyper aware and antsy and just altogether like a train wreck. I wanna be over it.