Ready to be

It's been a while since I could hold my head up high...

I'm back bitches! Shit has changed in my life like mad and I don't even know if I can get it all updated in a timely manner. My divorce is final. My ex appears to be happy with his new girlfriend (and I hope he is). He and I talk, but there is some distance there and while I sometimes miss that we were, at one point in time, good friends, I just don't know if that will ever come back. We have a lot between us. I'm back on skates and playing roller derby so I'm losing that 40 pounds I had gained...omg I felt like a whale when I saw the number on the scale. And my identity feels as fluid as ever, but not as important. There will always be people who don't like me or don't agree with my choices. Not my problem.

After I spent last summer struggling to come to terms with my divorce and who I was again after being lost in my marriage I ended up in a rather unconventional relationship. I realize that who I love or sleep with doesn't need to be an issue and as long as I am happy and the person I'm with is happy and we as a couple are happy then it doesn't matter what anyone else in the damn world thinks. With that said, my focus has shifted from lesbianism to more of a queer pansexual point of view. Which suits me far better than any other label or definition I've come up with. But I won't let labels define me. Paralegal, derby skater, woman, Texan...whatever. These are part of me, but not all of me.

So it is a new year, new day and I'm moving on. I'm not anything or anyone but myself.